In our culture today fathers are becoming less and less a part of our children’s lives and the absence of fathers has led directly to the downfall of Christian culture in America. Currently, 40 percent of American children do not grow up with their biological father.
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That number is on the rise as more and more couples choose the lifestyle of cohabitation and decide not to get married at all. Since the men in those relationships are not bound by any marriage vows, they feel less responsibility to stick around, especially if the marriage or childrearing starts to get tough. What are the results of fatherless homes? Let’s take a look at the statistics:
85% of criminals come from fatherless homes
90% of homeless come from fatherless homes
73% of drug addicts come from fatherless homes
63% of youth suicides come from fatherless homes
80% of rapists come from fatherless homes
72% of adolescent murderers grew up without fathers
Why is this the case? Let’s take a little lesson from nature that I learned from my psychology professor in college: several decades ago there was a problem with overpopulation on an African game preserve—too many elephants. Limited by the technology available at the time, the solution arrived at was to move the babies to new preserves. Everyone watched, gravely concerned, but the babies thrived. However, unintended consequences emerged. At the new locations, a decade or so after the transfer, someone was killing off rhinoceros which are an endangered species. It turned out the killers were young male elephants. At first the game wardens couldn’t believe it, this was uncharacteristic behavior never before seen in elephants. They deduced that the young males had grown up without fathers—without male role models. New technology had made it possible to transport into these locations some large mature bull elephants. There was concern that it would be too late, but they tried it anyway. It worked like a charm. The mature bulls arrived and set things straight. The young males immediately stopped their precocious, rampant sexuality, killing and violence. And so it goes. Daddies do matter, even in elephants. (Story originally from 60 Minutes)
Spiritual Fatherhood
Now this absences of fathers in everyday does not only apply to the demise of domestic life. In fact, what we are also experiencing in our culture is the absence of fathers in the spiritual life of the home, even when the father is present in the family. As pointed out by Doug Barry in his “Battle Ready Rally,” we typically praise our grandmas for passing on the faith in our family. We almost never hear about fathers or grandfathers passing on the faith to their children. Typically, “church” or “religion” is viewed as something reserved for women. Here is a perfect example:
Here in Central Wisconsin, there is a community that has strong Catholic roots. Their roots are also entirely Polish, being one of the oldest Polish settlements in America. However, even though the Polish immigrants had strong Catholic faith, the faith of the Polish fathers was not that great. In fact, they decided they would let their women go to church on Sundays, but they would do something more enjoyable.
There just happened to be a tavern directly across from the church and so while their wives ushered in their children to Mass, they would go across the road and have some whiskey with their fellow men. As the population grew with more pioneers from Poland, the crowd of men grew larger and larger. The men were lonely out on the frontier and they saw the tavern as their place to share fraternity with their fellow countrymen. The crowd of men grew so large that the noise interrupted church services! Each pastor for many years tried to bring in the men and stop them from deserting their families on Sundays. In the end, Father Joseph Dabrowski became pastor and pleaded the tavern owners to shut down on Sunday mornings. It wasn’t very successful and so Father Dabrowski decided to move the church building away from the tavern, so that the men would not be tempted.
Sadly, this reality of thinking religion is reserved for “women and children” persists today and Catholic men fail to see why they should attend Mass with their family.
Spiritual Battle
These Polish men failed to see that their primary responsibility as head of the household was to fight the spiritual battle for the lives of their family. As Saint Paul says in Ephesians 6:12, “For our struggle is not with flesh and blood but with the principalities, with the powers, with the world rulers of this present darkness, with the evil spirits in the heavens.” It is our duty as fathers to fight that battle and to be a firm foundation for our family. If we don’t do it, our society will continue to crumble around us.
The statistic that brings this home is the fact that 97% of children where the father does not go to Mass (even if the mother does) will never attend Mass regularly once they leave home. Men are the spiritual bedrock of the family and if the father does not take it seriously, neither will his children.
So let us rally together as men who will take charge and be a spiritual father. We must encourage men in America to take up the spiritual battle and not let their guard down.
If you are a man, resolve today to make prayer a priority. If you are a woman, encourage men (especially your husbands) to be strong in the faith. Suggest attending a local men’s conference or see if there are any men’s groups in the parish.
Jesus did not give men a “free pass” to do as they please and let women do the praying. We are all called to holiness and our personal holiness has eternal effects on those around us.
Let us conclude with a powerful hymn for all fathers to know:
Rise up, O men of God!
Have done with lesser things.
Give heart and mind and soul and strength
To serve the King of kings.Rise up, O men of God!
The kingdom tarries long.
Bring in the day of brotherhood
And end the night of wrong.Rise up, O men of God!
The church for you doth wait,
Her strength unequal to her task;
Rise up and make her great!Lift high the cross of Christ!
Tread where His feet have trod.
As brothers of the Son of Man,
Rise up, O men of God!(William P. Merrill, 1911)